|"Mafia look at little child. Mafia see loser."|
Hat Kid and several of the other characters she has met on her adventures decide to take a vacation on the cruise ship the "SS Literally Can't Sink" (yes, that is actually the name).
The cruise ship is divided into several rooms and decks.
This area contains a large pool that one can freely swim in, a nice contrast to the freezing waters surrounding the boat. There is a single seal on Lifeguard duty, and several more just swimming. The owls complain its too cold, but the penguins seem to be okay with it. There's also a small bar where the Conductor can be found "relaxing."
A tall, multi-floor garden with tall trees and many unidentified plants. Not much goes on here, but it is a good room to use for gaining vertical height on the ship.
The leftmost side of the ship.
The main room of the ship where the two Receptionist seals can be talked to. There are usually a bunch of suitcases piled up so Hat Kid can reach the upper floors with ease. A lot of passengers are found here.
A gambling room full of what appear to be poker tables, slot machines, and wheel games. The only time Hat Kid gets to interact with the machines is within Act 1 for a Time Shard, as any attempt to get chips from the desk seal will prompt him to say she looks to young to gamble. This makes the 5,000,000 Pon reward on the board behind him extremely taunting.
The rightmost side of the ship.
A medium-sized room located through a door behind the reception desk. Electricity lines the floor, forcing Hat Kid to use the pistons as platforms if she wants to cross. On a small balcony above the room's exit, the Power Octopus can be found pumping electricity.
A large, primarily bright room full of clothing piles, towels, baskets, and washing machines. Two metal racks constantly slide across the middle of the room, acting as hazards and platforms.
The cooking area of the ship, right at the edge of the dining room. From here Hat Kid can go down some stairs to enter the laundry room or just go back over the desk to get back to the dining room. There are plenty of chef seals (and a seal in a sink on break) to talk to, but Hat Kid has to be mindful of the ovens constantly spewing out dangerous fire.
An immaculate restaurant aboard the ship with large tables that slide back and forth, along with three chandeliers of varying heights that can be climbed on top of to reach one entrance of the Captain's Room.
A small daycare room where the Conductor's grandchildren can be seen during the first act of Arctic Cruise. There is a playpen, a slide, and a small jungle gym, as well as marine-based ceiling decorations. On the other side of the desk, there is a height sign that says "You must be this smol to enter."
- Walrus Captain
- White Seal Crew
- The Conductor
- The Conductor's grandchildren
- Express Owls
- Moon Penguins
- C.A.W Agents
- Fish Dude
- Mafia Boss
- Badge Seller
- Power Octopus
- Shock Squid
- Mafia Goon
|Find a way onto the ship and then explore to find the Time Piece.|
|Complete tasks around the ship without angering the captain.|
Rock the Boat
|Rescue everyone from the ship.|
Time Rift Locations
|Balcony||Any||In the garden room on the second highest row of rooms.||After completing "Rock the Boat".|
|Deep Sea||Bon Voyage!||Heading straight down from the beginning of the map until you see the shock squids on the left, Its located between the cruise ship and the Mafia boat where a Rift Token is located.||After completing the Relic "Cake Museum"|
Note: There are 12 Relics in the base game, and when all of them have been collected, all other treasures listed as "Relic" will give a Rift Token instead. This does not count the Relics found in the Seal the Deal DLC.
- Relic: On top of one of the lamp posts to your left as soon as you enter the area.
- Relic: When you get on the ship, you can see the present box with the relic above the pool in a big silver ring. You can use nearby balloons to launch yourself towards it
- Relic: In the engine room on the opposite side of the power octopus
- Rift Token: Heading straight down from the beginning of the map until you see the shock squids on the left. On the left to them is a ship with Mafia Goons and the rift token on it.
- Rift Token: Behind the bar at the pool
- Rift Token: Way above where you first enter the ship is a second diving board into the pool. On it is the rift token
- Rift Token: On the side of ship when you're outside it. If you use the ice pad to bounce you'll see it to your left
- Rift Token: In the engine room to the left of the octopus is some pipes. Climb up them to get to the rift token
|Rift Token||-||As you first enter the ship by following the seals with signs, you will enter on this balcony to drop off of. There is a rift token one level up on the left side, so instead of dropping off, jump to the balconies on the left. Follow along that wall until you reach some wooden crates. Jump on the crates and with a wide outward jump, you should be able to reach the next level of platforms. Then, jump over and collect the rift token.|
Check here for a list of all collectables.
- Hat Kid enters into the Laundry room through a machine called the Dirty Laundry Cleaner 3000. This is clearly a joke, as the acronym would be DLC.
- This entire chapter seems to be a reference to the well-known disaster of the Titanic, a ship deemed unsinkable that in fact sinks.