The Hat Kid's Diary records the Hat Kid's adventures from the start of the game onward. It can be found in the secret hideout under the pillow pool in the Bedroom, which requires the Ice Hat to reach. Once the Ice Hat is acquired, there will be a yellow column of light revealing the location. The entries are labeled by the day(e.g. Day 1, Day 2, etc...), and there is one for each act, but they are not necessarily dated in the order of the acts. Some entries cannot be read without cheating as their levels must be played before the player can get the Ice Hat. The diary does not affect game-play, but there is an achievement for finding the secret hideout.
A Youtube video showing all diary entries can be found here: 
- 1 Diary Entries
- 1.1 Chapter 1: Mafia Town
- 1.1.1 Act 1: Welcome to Mafia Town (chapter1_tutorial)
- 1.1.2 Act 2: Barrel Battle (chapter1_barrelboss)
- 1.1.3 Act 3: She Came from Outerspace (chapter1_cannon_repair)
- 1.1.4 Act 4: Down with the Mafia! (chapter1_boss)
- 1.1.5 Act 5: Cheating the Race (harbor_impossible_race)
- 1.1.6 Act 6: Heating up Mafia Town (mafiatown_lava)
- 1.1.7 Act 7: The Golden Vault (mafiatown_goldenvault)
- 1.2 Chapter 2: Battle of the Birds
- 1.2.1 Act 1: Dead Bird Studio (DeadBirdStudio)
- 1.2.2 Act 2: Murder on the Owl Express (chapter3_murder)
- 1.2.3 Act 3: Picture Perfect (moon_camerasnap)
- 1.2.4 Act 4: Train Rush (trainwreck_selfdestruct)
- 1.2.5 Act 5: The Big Parade (moon_parade)
- 1.2.6 Act 6: Award Ceremony (Ceremony) (award_ceremony)
- 1.2.7 Act 6: Award Ceremony (Basement) (chapter3_secret_finale)
- 1.3 Chapter 3: Subcon Forest
- 1.3.1 Act 1: Contractual Obligations (subcon_village_icewall)
- 1.3.2 Act 2: The Subcon Well (subcon_cave)
- 1.3.3 Act 3: Toilet of Doom (chapter2_toiletboss)
- 1.3.4 Act 4: Queen Vanessa's Manor (vanessa_manor_attic)
- 1.3.5 Act 5: Mail Delivery Service (subcon_maildelivery)
- 1.3.6 Act 6: Your Contract has Expired (snatcher_boss)
- 1.4 Chapter 4: Alpine Skyline
- 1.5 Chapter 5: Time's End
- 1.6 Chapter 6: The Arctic Cruise
- 1.7 Chapter 7: Nyakuza Metro
- 1.7.1 Station: Main Station (Metro_Intro)
- 1.7.2 Station: Yellow Overpass Station (Metro_RouteA)
- 1.7.3 Station: Green Clean Station (Metro_RouteB)
- 1.7.4 Station: Bluefin Tunnel (Metro_RouteC)
- 1.7.5 Station: Pink Paw Station (Metro_RouteD)
- 1.7.6 Station: Yellow Overpass Manhole (Metro_ManholeA)
- 1.7.7 Station: Green Clean Manhole (Metro_ManholeB)
- 1.7.8 Station: Pink Paw Manhole (Metro_ManholeC)
- 1.7.9 Finale: Rush Hour (Metro_Escape)
- 1.1 Chapter 1: Mafia Town
Diary entries are stored in the game's Localization folder in hatkiddiary.int (in English; other languages are stored in hatkiddiary files with language-specific file extensions (such as .fra for French)). Each entry consists of a header line (called "CurrentDay") consisting of "Day [Number of Acts Cleared]..." and strings named "[Act_Name]_0", "[Act_Name]_1", and so on.
The entries written here have been stripped of formatting.
Chapter 1: Mafia Town
Act 1: Welcome to Mafia Town (chapter1_tutorial)
- So... I am stranded. A big guy in a chef's apron and a suit knocked on my door, and decided to mess everything up.
- Apparently they're the "Mafia of Cooks". Why couldn't I have gotten stranded near a normal planet?
Act 2: Barrel Battle (chapter1_barrelboss)
- I'm not super sure what that was supposed to be? Some big loser stood around and threw barrels at me!
- Some even had spikes on! Who has spiked barrels????
Act 3: She Came from Outerspace (chapter1_cannon_repair)
- Wow. And I thought the regular Mafia were weirdos.
- At least he had a Time Piece I could take! How do they keep finding these things...
Act 4: Down with the Mafia! (chapter1_boss)
- No wonder these guys are so dumb if that's who they put in charge!
- I guess nobody is the boss now though... whoops.
Act 5: Cheating the Race (harbor_impossible_race)
- Ha! That'll show these dumb Mafia guys how outdated single-stage powder-based incendiary propulsion is.
- Winning fairly is overrated, anyway.
Act 6: Heating up Mafia Town (mafiatown_lava)
- It's... so... HOT! Something seriously wrong has happened to the Island; it looks like a huge Volcano went off!
- The Mafia guys are too big and tough to admit it, but the heat is definitely getting to them. Mafia guys get way smelly when they sweat... well, way smellier.
Act 7: The Golden Vault (mafiatown_goldenvault)
- Y'know, I've been seeing these tickets all around Mafia Town. Blue, Red, Green, Yellow - they're kinda pretty! I HAVE been wondering where they all go though.
- And I've been wondering what the Mafia could be keeping inside those things too! Well, today's the day I'm gonna find out!
Chapter 2: Battle of the Birds
Act 1: Dead Bird Studio (DeadBirdStudio)
- I just met the strangest group of birds I have ever seen. Ever. One is a big disco penguin, and the other is a... uh... bird-ish thing? Is he even a bird? I have no idea. Birds don't usually have teeth, but this guy does. It's creepy.
- They're "fighting" to see who can make the best movie. That's in quotes because no one really seems to want to fight, except the Conductor.
Act 2: Murder on the Owl Express (chapter3_murder)
- Y'know, there's a lot of creepy... crow... type... things getting on this train, too. Actually, everyone getting on is acting real funny, even the Owls. And they're harmless nerdy guys!
- I feel like something bad might happen since it feels so freaky, but the Conductor is definitely, um, how do I put this? "Loud"? "Pushy"? How about... "persuasive". Anyway, gotta go catch a train!
Act 3: Picture Perfect (moon_camerasnap)
- Ohmygosh!!! That big Penguin DJ said I could be a STAR!!! I wonder if he means like a pop star... Wait. Do I have to learn how to sing? Maybe an internet star-- no, no, a MOVIE star!
- DJ Grooves says he's going to take care of all of that stuff, I just have to show up on set, and I'm gonna be famous! I can't wait... I just hope I don't have to sing.
Act 4: Train Rush (trainwreck_selfdestruct)
- Every time I'm around the Conductor, I can hear him mumbling about his movie. I think he's trying to figure out some big, huge, impressive, exciting, AMAZING thing to do with his train.
- I mean, OK, maybe his movie could use more action or something. Like, um... uh... I actually have no idea what he could do. Being a movie director must be hard.
Act 5: The Big Parade (moon_parade)
- This moon set sure is getting busy! There's so many penguins showing up! And some are bringing balloons! And there are these floats that are SUPER BIG! Everything is looking so pretty!
- DJ Grooves said they're all here for me too! I can't let everybody down; I don't know what we're going to do next, but I know I have to try my best for all of my fans!
Act 6: Award Ceremony (Ceremony) (award_ceremony)
- I'm so excited! There's going to be a big fancy awards show and I get to go! I mean, I think I'm excited! I mean... I wonder if I helped the right bird win?
- All the birds were really nice and the movies were sooo cool! So... I just... wonder... ANYWAY, I'm super excited to see the award! Oh, also the Time Piece, hehe.
Act 6: Award Ceremony (Basement) (chapter3_secret_finale)
- What is it with people on this planet double-crossing me? It's ruuuuude!
- That's the last time I get involved in show business for a long time.
Chapter 3: Subcon Forest
Act 1: Contractual Obligations (subcon_village_icewall)
- Uhhhh what is this place??? There's spiders and ghosts and a big creepy creepy grinning... person? Thing??
- They said they were gonna kill me but then made me sign some paper instead? And I think he took my soul or something? Say whaaaaaat.
Act 2: The Subcon Well (subcon_cave)
- I thought I saw some weird Tower poking out from between the trees in the gross Swamp, but it turns out it's a big old Well. The Snatcher told me so!
- At first I thought he was just being nice, telling me neat stuff to look for... but then he told me I'm gonna have to go down there where it's smelly and dark! Shouldn't grown-ups usually be keeping kids OUT of wells or something?
Act 3: Toilet of Doom (chapter2_toiletboss)
- A Toilet. A... toilet. A TOILET! Why is there a smelly dumb gross toilet in the Forest, and why do I have to deal with something so smelly and dumb and gross!?!
- That Snatcher is such a jerk! Why do I have do this? I DON'T WANT TO TOUCH A TOILET!
Act 4: Queen Vanessa's Manor (vanessa_manor_attic)
- That Snatcher guy is such a jerk! Ugh! This stinks - now I need to go STEAL something "of his" from some old lady's attic?
- What's an old lady doing living in this spooky forest anyway? Wait... she's going to be creepy, isn't she? Old people already creep me out...
Act 5: Mail Delivery Service (subcon_maildelivery)
- I don't get it? He seems super creepy and menacing but he wanted me to deliver mail?
- I have a really bad feeling about this, but he won't give up his Time Pieces unless I do his weird contracts...
Act 6: Your Contract has Expired (snatcher_boss)
- THIS GUY!!!! I do his dumb jobs and then he tries to double-cross me???
- I beat him up and now he just wants me to go away, but he also like, can't make me, so whatever.
Chapter 4: Alpine Skyline
Mountain Peak: The Lava Cake (AlpineSkyline_WeddingCake)
- so hot. too sweaty to write properly. why is there a cake made of lava?????
- i hope the next time piece fell somewhere cold.
Mountain Peak: The Birdhouse (Alps_Birdhouse)
- That... was a really big bird cage. And a really big bird!
- It looked kinda too big to fly. Or move. But it was cute!
Mountain Peak: The Twilight Bell (Alpine_Twilight)
- I think I saw some ghosts today? Goat ghosts?
- I don't know where that bell took me, but it certainly wasn't somewhere I was supposed to be.
Mountain Peak: The Old Windmill (AlpineSkyline_Windmill)
- I think I need to lie down. Why'd it have to land at the top of that windmill?
- That thing was huge! Why would you build anything that big?
Finale: The Illness has Spread (AlpineSkyline_Finale)
- What the heck was all that about? Those nasty plants flowered and infected the big goats or something?
- All I know is they got REAL angry and things got REAL stormy and it was a bad time for everyone.
Chapter 5: Time's End
Act 1: The Finale (Mu_Finale)
- That got out of hand. As if this planet didn't have enough lava on it already!
- I'm sick of people here sneaking into my ship! It's rude! Time for me to go home.
Chapter 6: The Arctic Cruise
Act 1: Bon Voyage! (Cruise_Boarding)
- Wow! Look at the size of that ship! Maybe I should have made mine bigger...
- Anyway, this should be fun! I deserve a holiday after all this running around. I wonder if there's more Time Pieces here, though.
Act 2: Ship Shape (Cruise_Working)
- There's tooootally more Time Pieces on this boat! Nobody even wants 'em!
- That moody old Captain made me clean up (ughh!!!) his ship, but joke's on him! At least no one's getting murdered or blown up here.
Act 3: Rock the Boat (Cruise_Sinking)
- Uhhhh..... whoops. I don't think anyone saw me do that. Should I come up with an excuse just in case?
- It was a freak accident? Icebergs just get in the way of ships sometimes? I really wanted to do it?
- Maybe sinking cruise ships isn't even illegal on this planet?
Chapter 7: Nyakuza Metro
Station: Main Station (Metro_Intro)
- This place is busy, huh? There's cats travelling from all over the place! And... the trains are pulled by cats too? Weird.
- There was a timepiece here... but some big SCARY lady made me hand it over to her. What's her deal?? Why is she so mean???
Station: Yellow Overpass Station (Metro_RouteA)
- The 'Empress' has me running around finding timepieces, but then she keeps taking them back off me! Rude!!!
- She gave me some 'cash' for it. It's green and smells of cat fur. What is it for?
Station: Green Clean Station (Metro_RouteB)
- The smell of food is so distracting when I'm running around this place...
- I wonder if that rude lady will notice if I stop looking and go eat instead.
Station: Bluefin Tunnel (Metro_RouteC)
- These tunnels are kinda spooky! They're all dark, and then a big cat comes whooshing along it...
- There was a smashed up timepiece down here too, but I had to give it over like the rest. Grr....
Station: Pink Paw Station (Metro_RouteD)
- Woah! That was tense. I nearly got squished! All that for more of this 'cash' stuff.
- I'm making lots of 'money' apparently. But I want my timepieces, not this junk!!!
Station: Yellow Overpass Manhole (Metro_ManholeA)
- I fell through a sewer grate and there was more metro down there?? Whaaaat?
- AND there was a timepiece down here! But I didn't get to keep it...
Station: Green Clean Manhole (Metro_ManholeB)
- So...the Metro is underground. But there's an underground train line?
- And these manhole covers lead under-underground? Cats are weird!
Station: Pink Paw Manhole (Metro_ManholeC)
- How many are there in this place? Not that I'm getting to keep any!!!
- I'm going to sneak in there and get them back somehow...
Finale: Rush Hour (Metro_Escape)
- Woah... that was close. That nasty cat lady almost got me!
- But I bravely escaped completely on my own, and ALL the timepieces are mine. Bye-bye, Metro!
In addition, there is also a placeholder diary entry in case a valid entry cannot be found. Due to a coding error, it appears instead of the Time's End entry. Its strings are called "NoEntry0" and "NoEntry1".
- I have no idea how to even describe what happened today.
- I'll probably just leave this diary entry blank, sorry future me!