|"Mafia look at little child. Mafia see loser."|
"Mafia just help you build character!"
The Coffee Clerk wears a white polo shirt with a green apron over it. The apron has a red circle with a coffee cup design on it. He has large black glasses perched atop a rounded nose. He is balding, and has white hair.
He is commonly seen either cowering in fear, or rocking back and forth with his hands behind his back.
The Coffee Clerk can usually be found surrounded by a group of Mafia Goons, all kicking up dirt at him. If Hat Kid defeats all the Mafia Goons bullying him, he will jump in joy, and drop several items. What he drops varies by location.
|Below the Construction site||3-Pons and one Yarn|
|Next to Mafia Boat||11-Pons and one heart pon|
|Above the Seaside Spaghetti||3-Pons and one Yarn|
Note: Certain goods dropped, such as yarn, only drop upon rescuing the Coffee Clerk for the first time.
- A Coffee Clerk originally would have had a side mission, where Hat Kid would need to collect birds. This Coffee Clerk is present in some early builds, but cannot be talked to. However, the Birds for this mission actually are loaded into the level and can be collected using console commands
- In an early act, a Coffee Clerk would be attacked by some Mafia Goons. Hat Kid would have needed to coat herself in a stench from a nearby dumpster to gain access to the interior of Seaside Spaghetti, where he would presumably have been saved.
- An unused design for a Fire Spirit painting depicts a Coffee Clerk.
|Main Characters||Hat Kid • Mustache Girl • Bow Kid|
|Major Characters||The Conductor • DJ Grooves • The Empress • The Snatcher • Walrus Captain|
|Hostile Characters||Enemy • Mafia Boss • Mafia Goons • Queen Vanessa|
|Support Characters||Badge Seller • Cooking Cat • Goofy Mafia • Rumbi|
|Minor Characters||C.A.W Agents • Coffee Clerk • Express Owls • Fat Bird • Fire Spirits • Fish Dude • Goats • Metro Cats • Meowjima • Moon Penguins • Nomad • The Receptionist • Snatcher's Minions • Subcon Dwellers • Tourist • White Seal Crew|